Today...

Fair warning... the first part of this blog is going to be depressing!! If you don't want to read it feel free to skip to the bottom!!!

If you have been reading my blog, you know this past year has been difficult. We have lost one of Alan's great-grandmothers, Alan's uncle, my Grandaddy, one of my great-grandmothers, and after this week another one of my great-grandmothers.

This week my Nanny passed away. She was so sweet and such a strong person. She loved deeply, and she told you how much she loved you. Although I am so sad to know that she is gone, she was 97 years old. I have learned there are things worse than dying, and I feel like she had seen her fair share! Her mother died when she was young, her first child died when he was 2, her father died shortly after her son, her husband died in 1996, and since then two more of her children have died. I couldn't imagine, but she stayed strong and happy through all of it. So, while I am very sad to see her go, I know there are a lot of people in heaven she is very happy to see!!!! 

This week has been really hard...

The first is that she was my last great-grandparent. I was very blessed to get to know six of my great-grandparents, and the thought that they are all gone is very difficult for me to comprehend. I am so sad to see this chapter of my life closed!! When Ella was born, she had 5 generations in 4 different directions. Now, she only has one great-great-grandparent left! She was blessed to have that many, and I am glad they were able to spend this short amount of time together. I know she was a blessing to each of them, and I am sad that she won't remember them.

The second is that this was my last relative in Morrilton, AR. My grandparents are from there, and it was always a fun trip to go visit in Morrilton. I realized today as I was driving down there that this would be the last time we would need to go to Morrilton to see any family. It was sad leaving today!!!

The third is that this was my Grandaddy's mother. There is a large empty space in our lives that I don't believe can ever be repaired from losing Grandaddy in January. I miss him more than words can express, and it still doesn't seem real that he is gone. Also, I come from a family of very stong women (I know that is hard to see because I am so quiet and reserved... lol). To see three of the strongest women I know feel so depressed and sad is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I think my mother said it best when she said "He was the rock that held this family together" -- I think there may have been some words said about how well he handled being in the middle of so many strong-willed women!!! Ha ha, he handled us well, that is for sure!!! He held us together, and he loved deeply just like his mother. Going through today was like losing him all over again.

The fourth is all of the devestation from the weather! I was able to go help in Joplin last Thursday, and to actually see the impact of the storm was amazing. There are so many people who lost so much. It was difficult to see, but I was so thankful to get to help people when they needed it. My prayers are with all of those who have been impacted by the terrible storms this year! I was so happy to get home and just hold Ella and Alan!!

So, I think that is all of the depressing stuff -- at least for now! To the fun stuff! I am really excited about summer! I love being outside, and I am ready for the warm weather. Ella is growing up so fast! She is becoming more and more like a little adult everyday, and it is hilarious! She carries on conversations, not only with us, but with dogs, dolls, bath toys, anything she can make sit still long enough to listen to her! She is also getting very good at going potty in the potty!! It is wonderful to not have to change diapers so much!

Today she made me laugh, as I said she has gotten very good at communicating... unfortunately she has learned "shut-up". Until today, she had just yelled it at the dogs, and I figured she had picked it up from Alan. Until I heard Alan's dad get onto their dog and tell her to shut-up!! lol Well, she appropriately used it today when Mimi (my mom) was singing in the car. While this doesn't seem that funny, neither my mom or I can sing well, and the fact she told her to be quiet while she was singing made Mimi mad!! I thought it was funny! When we got home, after she and Abby had spent most of the day together, I guess Ella was ready for alone time. She looked at Abby and said "Abby, go home". I about died! At least we know she will tell people what she wants!

Here is to hoping my next blog post will be happier!!! Have a great memorial day weekend!

--Amanda